Language Barriers and Learning

Can I just say ya’ll...Mandarin is tough! 

For a girl from the south, learning this language is a whole new world. The tones still get me to this day. Ha! But it is sooooo worth it. Some times I get laughed out when I'm out trying to speak, but most of the time its just because the locals here are shocked that a foreigner is trying to learn their language. Its so totally different from English, especially my Southern English! But I confess...I'm loving learning. It makes me feel more empowered to live in this new world. 

I made the mistake of not starting my lessons until we had been here for almost a year. But I had my reasons. Pickle (my son) was only 4 months old when we arrived. So my time was not my own. Then I just got busy with life. My dear sweet Singaporean friend did a fabulous job of teaching me the basics, but eventually I decided I needed to take lessons. 

About a year into our time in China I met the wonderful husband and wife team of Wisdom Mandarin Education. I began my lessons shortly after. My lessons are once a week for an hour and a half. Now granted...after this my head hurts to no end and I MUST have my coffee to help me focus, but I love learning. I highly recommend learning if you are at a place in life here that you can. 

Leo, my Mandarin instructor. 

But I do realize that its just not for everyone. Tractor Man just doesn’t have time to take lessons and learn because of everything else on his plate, so he just relies on me to get us around and order food when we go out to eat. One wonderful thing about Wuxi is that so many people do speak English here, so it makes it easier in some ways. 

I do want to share with you a few sentences that have been extremely helpful for me in starting to learn. These will help you in getting around as well. This is a very short list of phrases, but a good starting point. A huge shout out to June at Wisdom Mandarin Education for the pinyin and characters below. 

Hello -  nǐ hǎo 你好

Good bye - zài jiàn 再见

I -  wǒ  我

You - nǐ 你

He / She -   tā 他/她

Water -  shuǐ 水

Bathroom - xǐ shǒu jiān 洗手间

I am an American - wǒ shì Měiguó rén. 我是美国人。

I don’t know -  wǒ bù zhī dào. 我不知道

I don’t understand -  wǒ bù dǒng. 我不懂。

How much is it? - duō shǎo qián?  多少钱？

It is too expensive! - tài guì le! 太贵了！

I don’t want. -  wǒ bú yào. 我不要.

I don’t have. -  wǒ méi yǒu.我没有
Thank you - xiè xiè . 谢谢
 

No problem -  méi wèn tí 没问题

One -  yī 一

Two -  èr  二

Three - sān 三

Four - sì 四

Five - wǔ  五
 

Six - liù 六
 
Seven - qī 七
 

Eight - bā 八

Nine - jiǔ 九

Ten - shí 十

Don't let this overwhelm you. Its much easier when you get started, trust me. Can't wait to hear your stories of how you learn. I would love to hear from you about your language experiences. 

Always, 

Southern Belle

Home sweet....boxspring

I can recall walking into our furnished apartment for the first time. Still jet lagged from our flight two days earlier, I was in a bit of a daze, but I can recall the gut dropping feeling I had as we opened the door to our new "home". Sure, I had seen pictures of it via email, but having never been inside before, I was expecting the worst.

Instead, I was pleasantly surprised.

Everything was brand spankin new. Some of the furniture wasn't really "our" style, but at least it was new. No former tenant smells to have to stomach. We made a trip to IKEA Wuxi within our first 24 hours and purchased a baby cot, changing table and linens. Across from IKEA was a METRO superstore, so we bought pots and pans there and were also able to stock our refrigerator with many familiar goods.

We got home, assembled the baby cot so our son could sleep, then dressed our bed in the new linens we purchased.

After a long day of unloading, unwrapping and unpacking, we couldn't wait to get a good night's sleep under our new plush sheets.

...and that's when we learned the difference between a western-style mattress and a Chinese mattress.

As we climb into bed, I whisper to BG, "I think they forgot a mattress. I'm pretty sure we are sleeping on the boxspring."

BG answers, "Welcome to China."

We have lived with the boxspring-esque mattress for quite some time now, and we both have perpetually sore necks and backs. Our lease is up for renewal next month, so we have negotiated with the owner to buy us a western mattress in exchange for re-newing.

I think that's a fair trade, and am counting the days until we can sleep like babies on a nice cushiony mattress again.

-Elle Lay

Packing List: Moving to Wuxi With No Sea Shipment

Intrigued by the minimalist lifestyle, my husband and I were actually sort of excited to rid ourselves of the excess we had accumulated over the years. We held at least three garage sales prior to our move, and said goodbye to everything from vehicles to silverware.

To say we cleaned house was an understatement. 

We determined what we wanted to keep in storage by asking ourselves, "when we return in x years, would we buy this exact xyz, or would we choose something different?" . If the answer was that we would  buy the exact same piece of furniture, for example, then we kept it in storage. It's amazing how many things we were able to let go of. This allowed us to pack our entire 1200 sf house into a 10x20 storage unit. 



see ya in 3 years, stuff.

So, what were we left with?

Glad you asked.

Clothing

Shoes

Toiletries

Baby gear 

Five checked bags. One carry on. A car seat and a stroller.
 

Our life. Packed and ready to go.

That's six bags total and the inescapable baby paraphernalia.

Instead of boring you with exactly what we packed, I thought I'd share with you the items that I feel are need-to-packs: 

Shoes: 

BG has an average American mans shoe size, but it is considered large by Chinese standards--if your husband's foot is larger than a US size 10 don't count on finding shoes in China for him. Same goes for women. Any shoe size over a US women's 8 will be hard to find in Wuxi. We each brought two pair dress shoes, one pair flip flops, sneakers and our UGG boots. 

Underwear: 

A fellow expat bought her husband LARGE boxers here and her small ten-year-old daughter ended up wearing them. True story. Sizing here is not made for American men.  As for women's underwear, if granny panties aren't your thing, or if you're over a B cup, you'll wanna Give Victoria's Secret a holler before your move.

Clothing: 

As with underwear, if you're over 6 feet tall and 200 lbs, best bring your own clothing. I packed a few of my favorite outfits, and sold the rest. I figured I am close enough to the size of an average Chinese woman that I could find clothing here as needed. Can't say as much for BG. In addition, we each brought two winter "coats" (I use the term "coat" loosely, as we are learning just how Californian we are during our first winter here) and a couple of sweatshirts.

Toiletries: 

Hit up your local one-stop-shop (ahem, Target) to stock up on the following: 

• Shaving needs (razor, refills, gel)
• Deodorant
• OTC meds (allergy, pain reliever, cold/flu, anti-diarrheal, TUMS, pepto, vitamins)
• Basic first aid (band aids, ace wrap, elasticon tape, gauze pads, scissors)
• 6-12 mo. of your Prescription meds. We learned the hard way...as did Southern Belle.
• Toothpaste 
• Hair gel
• Tampons- I've recently seen OB tampons sold in Wuxi, but I'm convinced they're made for fairies..I mean, who uses those? Bring a stockpile of your favorites from home. We lined the entire bottom portion of a medium sized suitcase with tampons. My husband thought I was nuts, but for me--tampons are one of those things I don't want to run out of, ever. 

Electronics

• Unlocked smart phones
• Laptop computer 
• iPad 

Baby paraphernalia (for a 5 month old)

• Carseat carrier and snap and go stroller frame
• Boppy feeding pillow
• Infant meds (thermometer,gas drops, Tylenol, teething gel, saline, pedialyte powder)
• Infant grooming (qtips, Vaseline, butt paste)
• Diapers & wipes to get us through two weeks before having to find more
• Clothing for the next three sizes. 
• Crib sheet 
• Two blankets
• Baby books
• Handful of baby toys

Now that I sit here and look at my list-I'm even more amazed at my husband's packing skills. It's hard to believe all of that fit in our suitcases on one trip!

written by Elle Lay

What's an ayi, and do I need one?

When talk of an overseas move to China was on the radar, BG tried to "sweeten" the deal for me by telling me he'd get an ayi for the house.

"An ayi?" I asked..."What's an ayi?"

He told me that an ayi is "house help". I thought to myself, "House help? Why on earth would I need house help? Am I not doing a good job as a wife?".

Clearly, the idea of having someone come to MY home was not as well received as he had hoped.

BG says, "I thought you'd be excited to have a housekeeper. You can spend more time with LG."

Thinking to myself, I don't want someone else in MY house, cleaning MY toilets...doing MY laundry. I like to do that stuff myself. I must have said something like, " We will see", because two weeks after arriving to Wuxi, and getting settled, BG tells me that an ayi will be at our home that very day to "interview".

Whaaaaa?

Hold up, BG. We never agreed to an ayi.

But me, oh my, there's our doorbell ringing. Too late to throw a temper tantrum "iiiiiiii don't waaannnttt an ayyyyyyi", so I answer the door with a smile.

"NiHao".

BG and a translator were also present. We walked the apartment, and I was to tell her what tasks I could use help with. Dragging my feet, I agreed that she could *sigh* sweep and mop my floors, fold laundry and take out our trash. The translator then tells me that the ayi says she will wash mirrors, windows and clean our dishes as well. She will scrub toilets, clean sinks, and is even willing to buy groceries for us as needed. BG gets an idea, " Can she take my dry cleaning and pick it up for us?". The answer, " With pleasure."

So, I admit. Seeing this woman face to face, she looked so sweet. She smiled from ear to ear and rattled off in mandarin as if I understood every word she was saying. The idea of an ayi was growing on me.

I reluctantly told BG that I was willing to give it a try, but added a disclaimer, "We don't NEED her."

It's now seven months later, with our same sweet ayi, and I couldn't imagine our home without her. Our son, LG thinks the world of her, and she gets to his level and plays with him as he follows her around the house like a puppy dog. She speaks to LG in mandarin, and he comes to her when she says " Lái" . She and I banter back in forth with her minimal English "hi", "go", "apple", "baby" and "shank you", and my terrible mandarin. We spend many afternoons laughing at LG and trying to communicate. She is a part of our daily life.

Ayis aren't for everyone...and not all Ayis are good. Some are dishonest, some are lazy, and some are disrespectful. I've heard many horror stories about Ayis, but thankfully, I gave ours a chance, and she has continued to work out well for us, and allowed me time to myself in the afternoons as LG sleeps. We have had a few hiccups along the way but my hope is that she stays with our family until its time for us to move back to the USA.

If she does, I can already predict that saying goodbye to her will be one of the hardest goodbyes our family will have.

Playing with our ayi

Elle Lay

Shipping Medicine

Well ya’ll...I had an interesting experience today that I wanted to share with you. Forgive me for getting personal (ha!), but I’m almost out of birth control. AHH!!! So I have been working with my wonderful Ob/Gyn to get another year supply (cause who really wants to run out of that.....). After getting their approval, I called our international insurance company to find out the best way to have it shipped, since mine has to stay temperature regulated. 

Well...after a long afternoon of being on the phone with different people, I learned that I can’t have my prescription shipped to China. This being the fact that there are new laws in place here that prohibit foreign companies from shipping their product in. From what I was told this is because China is trying to produce more of their own meds and not have so much imported. 

I still do not know much more than this at the moment, but I’m going to try to get this figured out and when I do I will update you further. 

As of now, my suggestion would be to work with your doctor as much as you can to get all the prescription medication to last until you go back for a visit. Knowing some of this in advance should help some of those conversations and get you thinking more on how to pack. Another suggestion would be to have your doctor write a letter for you to bring in your suitcase with you of what the medication is and why you are taking it (have them put this on their letterhead) as an extra precaution in case they search your bag. 

Thanks ya’ll,

Belle


*****UPDATE***** 

Hey ya'll. 

I wanted to share with you that I had my mother put some of my medicine in a package surrounded by a bunch of other item and not declare it on the customs form. It took over a month to get here (who knows why.....maybe Chun Jie???) but it is here safe and sound. 

I would still recommend bringing as much as you can of what you need or having someone bring it for you, but if needed go for it, have it shipped...just don't declare it. 

Thanks ya'll,

Belle

China Working Weekends

One thing to be aware of when looking at moving to China and your vacation schedule is “working weekends.” This is something that Tractor Man and I were not told about until we got here, so I really want to make sure that I share this information with you. Its always easier when you are a little more informed going in than not. 

Working weekends, in essence, is a way of making up some of the holidays that the company gives. For each holiday on the calendar there is a weekend day that will have to become a working day. I’m still not completely sure of the reasons behind this, but here is the little bit I have learned. The Chinese people tend to work in another provence than where their family lives so they would rather have a longer holiday to be able to travel to see their family. Then they will make up those days by working other days. 

A good question to ask the company you are coming over with is what holidays from your home country they honor, if any. For example, China does not celebrate Christmas, so that is a day you would have to take as a vacation day if you only get the Chinese holidays.  

Below is the complete holiday schedule for 2013 in China as put out by the government. 

New Year’s Day: Holiday from the 1^st of January to the 3^rd of January, three days in total. Jan. 5^th (Saturday) and Jan.6^th (Sunday) will then become working days.

Spring Festival: Holiday from the 9^th to 15^th of February, seven days in total. Feb.16^th (Saturday) and Feb.17^th (Sunday) will then become working days.

Tomb-sweeping Day: Holiday from the 4^th to 6^th of April, three days in total. Apr.7^th (Sunday) will then become working day.

Labor Day: Holiday from the 29^th of April to the 1^st of May, three days in total. Apr.27^th (Saturday) and Apr.28^th (Sunday) will then become working days.

Dragon Boat Festival: Holiday from the 10^th to 12^th of June, three days in total. Jun.8^th (Saturday) and Jun.9^th (Sunday) will then become working days.

Mid-Autumn Festival: Holiday from the 19^th to 21^st of September, three days in total. Sep.22^nd (Sunday) will then become working day.

National Day: Holiday from the 1^st to 7^th of October, seven days in total. Sep.29^th (Sunday) and Oct.12^nd (Saturday) will then become working days

                                                                                         

 Always,

 Southern Belle 

Moving to Wuxi with a cat

It was never a discussion in our family whether or not our cat would be joining us on our move overseas. He has lived through my husband's bachelor days, our dating, marriage and two other moves...so he was most definitely going to move to Wuxi with us, old age and all. We often joke that he may not make the return trip home with us, as he takes Senior cat status to a whole new level being almost 14 years old. To be honest, I was worried that because of his age, and the stress of the move, that he might not survive the trauma of a long flight and a stint in the mandated quarantine.

I spent many hours scouring message boards and pet relocation companies prior to our move. The laundry list of paperwork,
vet visits and clearances seemed too much for us to handle on our own. The allure of door to door service seemed most appealing, but at nearly $5000 USD, it was out of our reach. After a bit more research, and we found a vet in China who would assist us with only the tasks we needed help with ( translating paperwork into Chinese and chaperoning our cat from the cargo area to quarantine, and eventually to our home in Wuxi). The fees were fair, the vet spoke English, and even checked our documents via email before we left the States to make sure we had completed everything satisfactorily for customs clearance in China.

In preparation for bringing our cat to Wuxi, we completed the following requirements for shipping our cat as air cargo from the USA:

Two months prior to departure:

1. Rabies shot (must be within one year of departure, but no less than 30 days prior).

2. Booked airline tickets.

3. Ordered cat crate to meet airline specifications. Here's a link to the formula we used to select ours.

4. Made appointment with our vet for 10 days prior to departure  date for health certificate completion.

5. Secured pet relocation services based on our arrival date into Shanghai. 

One month prior: 

1. Brought crate into the house for cat to get accustomed to it. Lured him in with an old blanket and food.

2. Prepared crate: Put "LIVE ANIMALS" stickers on crate, and filled out identification labels. I also bought an airline kit with a large soaker pad for the bottom of the crate from Dry-Fur. Your cat crate must have spill proof feeding dishes (accessible from outside the crate) due to airline regulations.
 

10 days prior: 

1. Another visit to the vet for completion of a health certificate.---VERY IMPORTANT---The name on health certificate, vaccination record and name of Consignee must match the name on your passport. Also, when traveling, the original paperwork/certifications/ vaccination record MUST be traveling WITH your pet. (A Ziploc bag duct taped to our kennel worked fine).

2. Drove to the closest USDA office which was located near LAX airport with our completed health certificate in hand. (Note: take ALL of your paperwork with you). There was a fee of $30 USD for the USDA office stamp.

3. Faxed all completed paperwork,airway bill and our Chinese contact information to Dr. Jenny Yu for review.

4. Confirmed completion of proper paperwork.

5. Confirmed drop off location for cat at LAX.

Day before departure:

1. Stopped feeding cat 12 hours prior to flight. Water only.

2. Made copies of ALL paperwork.

Day of flight:

1. Dropped cat off at cargo area in his carrier. Loaded extra food in a gallon Ziploc taped to the top of his carrier. Left all ORIGINAL paperwork and contact information in Ziploc bag taped to cat crate. 

2. Said goodbye and crossed our fingers.

Upon arrival to Shanghai:

1. We collected our luggage and headed to a Shanghai hotel for the night.

2. Pet relocation company agent met us at the hotel and took my husband's passport overnight to process our cat through customs and into the mandated quarantine (Consignee’s original passport must be provided for custom clearance use)

Day one:

We stayed in Shanghai waiting for my husband's passport to be returned. The vet called to say that the cat had been processed into quarantine and was not eating, but otherwise well. After many hours passed, an agent from the pet relocation company arrived at our hotel with my husband's  passport and we were finally off to Wuxi. If all went well with our cat's physical by a Quarantine official vet, then he would be released to us after 7 days, and would then need to spend the remaining 23 days of quarantine in our home.
 

He arrived, alive and well. Re-united at last.

Day seven: 

Our cat was released from quarantine. A pet relocation agent phoned to say he would deliver our cat to our home. Two hours later we were reunited. With his fur a bit matted (and flea infested), and a little rough around the edges, he arrived in one piece, alive and well.

I've heard stories of people avoiding quarantine by making Hong Kong their first port of entry, but really- quarantine wasn't the death of our cat, and I'm glad that we just went ahead and booked our flight direct from LAX to PVG. I admit, I lost a lot of sleep prior to our move worrying about our cat's well being. Seeing as he is snuggled up next to me right now, purring away, he obviously wasn't too scarred from his experience. Don't let the paperwork or quarantine scare you from bringing your family pet. It's worth the work.

Elle Lay