What's an ayi, and do I need one?

When talk of an overseas move to China was on the radar, BG tried to "sweeten" the deal for me by telling me he'd get an ayi for the house.

"An ayi?" I asked..."What's an ayi?"

He told me that an ayi is "house help". I thought to myself, "House help? Why on earth would I need house help? Am I not doing a good job as a wife?".

Clearly, the idea of having someone come to MY home was not as well received as he had hoped.

BG says, "I thought you'd be excited to have a housekeeper. You can spend more time with LG."

Thinking to myself, I don't want someone else in MY house, cleaning MY toilets...doing MY laundry. I like to do that stuff myself. I must have said something like, " We will see", because two weeks after arriving to Wuxi, and getting settled, BG tells me that an ayi will be at our home that very day to "interview".

Whaaaaa?

Hold up, BG. We never agreed to an ayi.

But me, oh my, there's our doorbell ringing. Too late to throw a temper tantrum "iiiiiiii don't waaannnttt an ayyyyyyi", so I answer the door with a smile.

"NiHao".

BG and a translator were also present. We walked the apartment, and I was to tell her what tasks I could use help with. Dragging my feet, I agreed that she could *sigh* sweep and mop my floors, fold laundry and take out our trash. The translator then tells me that the ayi says she will wash mirrors, windows and clean our dishes as well. She will scrub toilets, clean sinks, and is even willing to buy groceries for us as needed. BG gets an idea, " Can she take my dry cleaning and pick it up for us?". The answer, " With pleasure."

So, I admit. Seeing this woman face to face, she looked so sweet. She smiled from ear to ear and rattled off in mandarin as if I understood every word she was saying. The idea of an ayi was growing on me.

I reluctantly told BG that I was willing to give it a try, but added a disclaimer, "We don't NEED her."

It's now seven months later, with our same sweet ayi, and I couldn't imagine our home without her. Our son, LG thinks the world of her, and she gets to his level and plays with him as he follows her around the house like a puppy dog. She speaks to LG in mandarin, and he comes to her when she says " Lái" . She and I banter back in forth with her minimal English "hi", "go", "apple", "baby" and "shank you", and my terrible mandarin. We spend many afternoons laughing at LG and trying to communicate. She is a part of our daily life.

Ayis aren't for everyone...and not all Ayis are good. Some are dishonest, some are lazy, and some are disrespectful. I've heard many horror stories about Ayis, but thankfully, I gave ours a chance, and she has continued to work out well for us, and allowed me time to myself in the afternoons as LG sleeps. We have had a few hiccups along the way but my hope is that she stays with our family until its time for us to move back to the USA.

If she does, I can already predict that saying goodbye to her will be one of the hardest goodbyes our family will have.

Playing with our ayi

Elle Lay